一些朋友知道我姐姐搬到新加坡后，说了些难听的话。一个问我他们夫妻俩是靠什么关系在新加坡找到工作。我马上反驳：“那是新加坡，你要有才干才能找到工作。”
许多马来西亚人在国内有很好的发展。但据在我工作地点所看到的，和从朋友那所听到的，要谋求更好的工作，肯定有更好的出路。
12月真是多事之秋。这个月的头一个星期，就有好些让人难过的事。一些朋友离婚、分手了、一个家中好友不幸中风、为了更美好的未来，我姐姐一家人搬到新加坡，将来或者还会迁移到其他地方。
真不知道从何说起。我只能说，侄儿、侄女离开后，家里现在晚上变得很寂静。再也没有争看寰宇电视（Astro）的情形，Layla不会再拿我的化妆品来玩，我也不用把他们赶出我的房间。整个公寓感觉好空洞。
和我的一些堂、表兄弟姐妹一样，我姐姐和姐夫选择到国外工作和居住。
他们相信国外的生活会更好。专业人士可以在强调绩效的制度里获得应有的回报，孩子的智力和艺术天赋，在一个多元种族的环境和良好的教育体制里，也可以得到发挥。
我姐姐大概是昏了头了，因为她并没有佣人。但是她认为牺牲是值得的。
我妈妈曾说过这里的婚姻关系一团糟，人们结婚后最好搬离马来西亚。夫妻俩在国外时，会更努力地经营他们的婚姻。
一些朋友知道我姐姐搬到新加坡后，说了些难听的话。一个问我他们夫妻俩是靠什么关系在新加坡找到工作。
我马上反驳：“那是新加坡，你要有才干才能找到工作。”
如果你是外国人，情况更是如此。遗憾的是，这些人依然维持鄙视的态度，不断表示我们不应该遗弃祖国。
我也收到一个同家人住在欧洲的亲戚的电邮。她现在开心多了，同丈夫的关系也更牢固了。
“是的，我们在吉隆坡的朋友已经成为百万富翁了，我们却还在一个新的地方挣扎。但吉隆坡那里的人、生活方式就是有种让人厌恶的感觉，它不是个适合孩子成长的地方，”她在电邮里说。
“无论如何，我们在哪里都可以继续保留回教徒的生活，在哪里都可以祈祷，这里其实有很多回教徒！来看看我们吧，妳绝对会喜欢这里。书店？博物院？”
离开是选择更美好的将来
他们是不是非典型的马来西亚人，已经西化到不能在自己的国家里生活和呼吸？
答案是否定的。我的朋友和亲戚同一般马来西亚人没什么两样。他们喜欢印族回教徒的食物和夜市，还没有离开马来西亚前，也过着典型马来西亚人的生活。星期天是陪孩子的时间，基督教徒朋友会上教堂，马来人朋友和亲戚则上可兰经研习班和踢足球。
他们也有很好的工作。有自己的房子，一辆甚至两辆车子……
他们选择离开，是因为他们相信在国外居住和工作，会让他们和他们的家庭拥有更美好的将来。
他们知道同外国人、阿拉伯人、和新加坡人一起工作，必须面对适应不同文化的挑战，但也认为这样的环球化环境是绝佳的经验。
学校教导学生的方式已经越来越国际化，我的侄子除了回教课，也可以上武术和游泳课程。
还有另外一个诱因。一个事业有成的驻海外朋友曾告诉我：“如果我住在马来西亚，你想我会拥有这一切吗？或许我可以，但我却必须到处拍人家马屁。
我不是任何校友会的成员，也不打高尔夫球。我的成功是靠我的实力和表现。”
他是个精明的投资者，凭自己的能力取得成功，现在过着许多人向往的生活。
一个华族朋友听了我的话感到非常惊讶：“你是说你们马来人也跟我们这些“非的”有同样的感受？”
“非什么？”我问。
“非土著啊。”
“当然啦！”
“如果连你们都有这种感觉，那我们又如何呢？”
这种马来西亚人到国外寻求更美好未来的人才外流现象，并不局限于某个族群。
我不否认许多马来西亚人在国内也有很好的发展，但据我在工作地点所看到的，和从朋友那所听到的，要谋求更好的工作和生活，肯定有更好的出路。
如果这意味着人们必须离乡背井，那也没有办法。人们必须务实，过分重视感情只有在小说里才管用。
在这里祝国人佳节和新年快乐。
● Dina Zaman（迪娜·扎曼）
原载马来西亚《星报》网络版 - Brain drain is colour blind
叶琦保译
转载http://www.zaobao.com/yl/yl071224_503.shtml
（2007-12-24）
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Brain drain is colour blind
By DINA ZAMAN
Many have done very well on their own soil, but from where I sit and work, and being a friend and ears to a number of people, there must be a better way to make a living.
WHAT a December. In the first week itself, there were a few heartbreaks: divorces, a break-up, a family friend getting a stroke, and lastly, my sister and her family leaving for a better future in Singapore, and hopefully in the future, elsewhere.
I don’t even know where to begin; all I can say is that our home is much quieter in the evenings and nights without my nephew and niece. No more fighting over Astro, no more chasing them out of my room and catching Layla playing with my make-up. The apartment feels so empty.
Like a number of my cousins and friends, my sister and her husband have opted to work and live overseas. They believe life is much better abroad. The professional is compensated for his due diligence through meritocracy, and the children are exposed to different cultures and an education that challenges their intellect and artistic bent.
My sister is going nuts, of course, because there’s no domestic help. But for her the sacrifices are worth it.
In fact, my mother once said that it’s better for married couples to live out of Malaysia; marriages back home are so screwed up. When you’re in a foreign country, you work harder at a marriage.
There were a few snide remarks from acquaintances when they heard of the move. One asked me whose strings did they pull to get a job there?
I snapped back, “this is Singapore, you need the smarts to work there.” Even more so if you’re a foreigner. Unfortunately, this condescending git went on and on about how we should not forsake the motherland.
I also received an e-mail from a cousin who’s living with her family in Europe. She’s so much happier there now, and her relationship with her husband is stronger.
“True, Kak Dina, our friends in KL are millionaires now, and we’re struggling in a new land. But there’s something sick about KL. The people, the way we live, it’s not a place to bring up a family,” she wrote.
“Anyway, Kak Dina, Islam is a portable religion. You can practise it anywhere, you can pray anywhere, and there are many Muslims here! Jom lah, Kak D, duduk lah sini. You’ll love it here. Bookshops? museums?”
Are they the atypical Malaysians, so westernised that they cannot live and breathe in their own country?
No. My friends and relatives are just your normal Malaysians who love their mamak food, pasar malam; and when they lived here, led typical Malaysian lives. Sundays with the kids and church for my Christian friends, kelas ngaji and futsal for my Malay friends and cousins.
They were holding good jobs, too. They had a house, one or two cars...
They left because they believed that living and working abroad would afford them and their families a better future.
They knew they would be in for a few cultural challenges, working with Mat Sallehs, Arabs, Singaporeans, but they also felt the international exposure would be excellent for them.
Schools are increasingly more international in their approach: my nephew will be able to go for his Islamic classes as well as martial arts and swimming classes.
Another pull-factor. A very successful friend who’s based abroad once told me: “I live in Malaysia you think I’ll have all this? I could, but I’d have to brownnose everyone.
“I don’t belong to an old boys network and I don’t golf. I got to where I am because of what I can do and deliver.”
A shrewd investor, he is now leading that very life many aspire to, and he has done so on his own terms.
One of my Chinese friends was stunned to hear this. “You mean you Malays also go through the same thing as us Nons ah?”
“Hah? Apa itu ‘Non’?” I asked.
“Non-bumi lah, dol.”
“Of course lah!”
“Choy, choy, choy. If you guys feel that way, what about us?”
This brain-drain, Malaysians leaving for a better future abroad, is not confined to a particular race. I’m not denying the fact that many have done very well on their own soil, in their own country, which is Malaysia, but from where I sit and work, and being a friend and ears to a number of people, there must be a better way to make a living, and to live.
If it means uprooting, then so be it. One must be practical. Sentimentality only works in fiction.
The writer would like to wish all Malaysians happy holidays and a Happy New Year.
http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2007/12/20/focus/19820231&sec=focus
